Plot Bunnies that escaped the pen
by fragonknight01
Summary: A collection of short drabbles that never went anywhere after they escaped...
1. Chapter 1

Albus Dumbledore had only one thing to say about the way the new Dark Lord ruled things- Harry Potter surely knew what he was doing. Had he even wanted to he would not have interfered with the way things were going. The Wizard World never had it so good- all the good guys were content; all the bad guys were even more so.

Harry Potter had taken over Wizarding Britain with little to no problems once he figured out what to do with all the factions. Factions which were even now still learning not to mess with the brilliant, but evil, young Dark Lord.

Albus twinkled merrily as he stepped into the huge airy house that rang with laughter. He was met at the door by a creepy snake-faced man who asked if he could take Mr. Dumbledore, Sir's cloak. Beaming proudly at the butler he said, "Yes, Thomas. Thank you. I should be most grateful if you could attend my cloak for me."

Thomas Riddle bowed slightly and handed the cloak to a house elf who whisked it away. "You may find Lord Potter in the library. He was observing Master Snape lecturing the older Potter boys on the proper brewing of Wolfsbane potion."

Albus blinked. Then it dawned on him that Snape must have irritated Harry somehow and he had responded in kind by reprimanding the man. It was common knowledge that the three oldest Potter boys all looked exactly like their father and were horrid little know-it-alls like their mother, Hermione. To unleash three seven-year-olds on him and require him to brew a technical potion at the same time must have meant he did SOMETHING!

On his way to the library he met Harry's second wife, Ginerva Weasley-Potter. Ginerva was clutching her stomach and looking very unhappy as she tried to remain upright. "Mrs. Potter, may I be of assistance to you?" Albus was all business when he noticed someone needed help. Ginerva had gone into labor and was trying to get to Harry obviously.

The beautiful little redhead looked up at him with pain clouded eyes. "Please! I need to get to Harry."

He scooped her up and ran the rest of the way to the library. Barging into the room he moved straight toward Harry who had risen at their entrance and started toward them. He took the bundle from Albus and nodded toward Snape. "Could you make sure that these four finish their project while I greet my newest little Potter." It was strange to see Harry so serious, yet happy, as he held his fussing wife.

All three little Potter boys pouted. They knew they would not get away from the mean old potions master unless he was able to brew a perfect potion, and they knew he knew it! One way or another the three of them would eventually have to stop pestering the older man and he would have to stop antagonizing them just to get them to retaliate. Daddy always seemed to know what to do to the four of them anyway. It was going to be hours before they could go to their mother to be reassured that everything was all right with Mummy Ginny, she only ever had one baby at a time and it was always hard on her.

The boys could not help it. They all looked up at the greasy git and begged, "Please Uncle Severus, can we go to Mummy? She might need us."

Severus looked at Albus. Truth be told he was worried also. Ginny was not supposed to have gone into labor for another three weeks. She just did not seem to be able to carry a child well at all. This was her fourth pregnancy and it was the fourth time she was having problems.

Then Severus caught the irony of that thought. While a Weasley struggled to have one child the great-granddaughter of Potions Master Dagworth-Granger had delivered her third set of triplets and went back to work the next week.


	2. Chapter 2

"Lord Potter! How is it that you come up with such brilliant schemes?" The reporter for Witches' Weekly asked.

"Well I could tell you the truth…or I could tell you that I trained under Sybil Trelawney."

"What did you learn under her?"

"Ummm…reading tea leaves….palmistry….tarot cards…..oral sex…."

"You learned oral sex from her?"

"Oh, no! I was just going through a list of things that intrigues me."

"Oral sex intrigues you?"

"Yes…"

"Did Sybil spark your interest?"

"No, definitely not. Oral sex was the one thing that I refused to let her each me. My first wife taught me that." Harry smiled beatifically before adding, "My second wife bought the Kama Sutra for me and ."

"So how many wives do you plan to have, My Lord?"

"I am quite happy with the two that I have now, thank you. Of course if they get damaged or broken I may look for a replacement until I can get them fixed."

"Is there much chance that they will be damaged or broken by you?"

"Not by me. Luna Lovegood has threatened several times that if they do not stop giving Nev bad ideas she might do bodily harm to them."

"What kind of ideas do they give him?"

"You should ask either them or him. I really do not want to make second-hand comments regarding such a fascinating subject as Interstellar Transfer of Matter…"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So, back to the subject of your education and the effect Sybil has had on it…"  
"Oh, look, there goes Draco Malfoy!"

"Where?" the reporter whirled around to check but could not see him. Turning back to the Potter Lord she spoke …"UH, Lord Potter, where did you go?"


	3. fanfic junkie scenario 3

Plot Bunny #3

Scenario #3: Confessions of a Fan Fic Junkie- All scenarios are the result of reading someone else's work and misunderstanding something due to grammatical marks being either misused or missing… The person or work is not identified, unless I was reading a correct sentence and took a wild fancy to rewrite the paragraph for my own ridiculous amusement.

Harry suddenly remembered the guard that was watching the house…and he wasn't supposed to be outside. He muttered a charm that enveloped the surrounding area in a red glow that was only visible to him. The charm would expose any heat-producing bodies in the area. Moody had taught him the charm so that he could be constantly vigilant. _This charm should show me where the Order guard is located. Now who is guarding me?_

He searched around and finally found someone underneath an invisibility cloak. The person seemed to be sitting down resting against a tree. Harry walked cautiously toward him/her to see who it was. As he got closer he smelt the overwhelming smell of used cigars. Must be Dung. _He seems to be sleeping, but do I really have that much good luck?_ Apparently Harry did. Fletcher didn't even make a movement as Harry knelt next to him. Harry smiled in relief and went back to the front door.

Harry ambled over to the sitting room door and observed his relatives watching television until Petunia looked up and noticed him standing there.

"Where have you been all day, boy?" She snarled. "You did not do any of the chores on the list I left you."

Harry smiled sweetly at her. "A thousand pardons, Madame. I did not see your list since I have been gone all day. Perhaps you could give me the list now?" As he spoke he threw a small compulsion charm at her and stepped back pleasantly as she jumped up and stormed past him to retrieve the list.

Seconds later Petunia was back with the list and tried to fling it at him. Harry's pleasant façade held up as he pulled his wand out and without checking the list began flinging spells. In a matter of minutes the house was 'scourgified' from attic to basement…including Dudley's favorite skid-marked BVDs.

Harry then said, "Now I expect you all want your dinner, yes?" Before they could argue he had levitated all three of them out of their chairs and to the table where he conjured a spread of food so heavy that the table groaned. Dropping all three of them into their respective chairs, he nodded in satisfaction before adding, "You will not rise from the table until every scrap of food has been consumed by the three of you."

Petunia gave a frightened wail as she looked at the seemingly undoable task. Her men folk just grunted and dug in.

Harry whistled on his way upstairs, occasionally breaking into a neat shuffle-ball-chain step. Life was looking good as far as he was concerned. He had had an incredibly good day. It all started off with finally getting the charm correct to get the ministry tracking spells off his wand, then he managed to sneak past him morning guard, caught the regular bus into London, met up with Draco, Theo, and Blaise and then spent the rest of the day carousing as young bucks should, before heading home to steal his invisibility cloak, that Dumbledore had taken from him just before school let out, right off the sleeping body of the twit who was supposed to be making sure he was safe.

Yep, it was a good day…He could not resist cutting loose a good 'Dark Lord laugh' and then went into hysterics as he heard Fletcher begin screaming out in the back yard. The person relieving him at shift change hexed first then asked questions.


	4. The Board of Governors

Plot Bunny #4

Scenario #4: Confessions of a Fan Fic Junkie- All scenarios are the result of reading someone else's work and misunderstanding something due to grammatical marks being either misused or missing… The person or work is not identified, unless I was reading a correct sentence and took a wild fancy to rewrite the paragraph for my own ridiculous amusement.

Plot Bunny #4

The Board of Governors met for the annual planning session at Hogwarts as they did every year before school resumed. The only change was this year the meeting was an open forum. The Board of Governors would be responsible for the meeting, but the general public in attendance would be allowed to propose items to the agenda, and although they would not have voting rights the general public would be allowed to state their case before any voting by the committee commenced.

Several items were cleared from the agenda before Madame Longbottom made the motion to review the Janitorial position. The motion was seconded by Lord Weatherby.

"What problems have been noted in the janitorial position that requires a review?" Lucius Malfoy asked.

Madame Longbottom responded, "It has come to the attention of the committee that an assistant needs to be appointed to the Honorable Mr. Filch. As he advances in age his rheumatism is becoming more and more apparent."

Amelia Bones immediately nominates Cornelius Fudge.

Guildry Lockhart's sister seconded the motion.

The motion is passed: Cornelius Fudge's nomination of assistant janitor at Hogwarts is accepted.

Weatherby asks the question, "Is Fudge qualified to do the job?"

Bones responds with, "He dresses badly, talks loudly, and could pass as an American."

"That is true, but can he clean?" Madame Longbottom queries.

Lucius smirks and says, "We can give him an apprenticeship and pay student hire wages until he is up to snuff."


	5. Salazar: Causing trouble as a child

Plot Bunny #5

Salazar glared at his sister, Sherlindria, as she held the newborn baby in her arms. "I think that it is really stupid of you to want to play with a baby that only sleeps all the time! I want you to put that thing down and come outside with me."

Sherlindria looked up at her younger brother from her position of sitting amongst the cushions their mother had placed for her so she could hold the baby without hurting him. "I don't want to go anywhere with you. When I put Harold down I shall go up to the library and work on my sums like Master Potter expects us to."

Salazar glared at his ten-years-old sister. "If I did not know better I would think that you have formed a tender for him. Just you wait until I tell Mother that you are in love with Master Potter and are pretending Harold is your child."

Sherlindria returned the glare from blazing green eyes. "And, I shall retaliate, you great pig." Her little body trembled with rage, chestnut hair swirling slightly in the magical breeze caused by her heightened emotions.

The boy, two years younger than her, just laughed before pointing his wand at the baby and chanted;

"Fire burn and time turn; move this baby into magic's stream; carry him to those who dream…"

Sherlindria gave a great wail of anguish as the fire leapt from the hearth and swirled around them. Seconds later she sat alone on the couch, no mark of the fire ever having been near her, except her arms were empty of the baby, no trace of it ever having been there. She screamed until the adults all raced into the room to see what was happening.

Salazar stood beside the couch, petrified with fear, but a mutinous glare on his pale pointed face. He knew he would be punished by his parent again for letting his temper lead him into trouble; he would be beaten without getting a chance to explain his point of view. He had not meant to harm the baby; he just wanted his sister to spend some time with him. As usual, his stupid magic overpowered when he was frustrated and now something horrible had happened. He had been told several times that he was not to do malicious pranks with the wand, and this time he knew with absolute certainty that he had gone too far. He would be lucky to survive the fall-out.

An hour later Salazar was still standing at attention; this time with tears falling down his face as his father made him listen as Alaric Potter spoke for the first time since learning that his son and heir, in fact his only child, had been removed from the year 986 and was gone without a trace.

The haggard looking man stood across the desk from his old friend and with tears streaming down his pale face also, he spoke. "Lord Slytherin, I ask that you not punish your son on my behalf. I have been the boy's tutor for almost three years now, and I can tell you that punishing him does not help. The boy will tell you that it was an accident. He was only trying to get his sister to put the baby down and play with him. He will tell you that his magic gets away from him…"

Slytherin looked from Alaric to Salazar and back to Alaric. "What reparation do you ask for, old friend? One of my lesser sons has not only committed Line Theft on the Potter family, he has also harmed the Slytherin family. I cannot let that go unchallenged."

Alaric Potter bowed his head and took several deep breaths to keep from breaking down completely. "In truth, Salazar has done me a great favor. The death of Magdalena has left me longing to join her. With our son gone there is no reason for me to stay here, and I have decided to wander away until such time as I might pass on."

Slytherin bowed his head at that. "You will be sorely missed. Your sword has been of as much aid as your wisdom has been to me and mine." Then he looked at his errant son and made the decision that would change the course of the wizarding world. "Since you are a knight, Alaric, I must insist that you take as your page that whelp." Then before Alaric could argue, he added, "Because if you do not remove him from this keep I shall kill him before the sun sets this day."


End file.
